Monday, July 11, 2011

How to Say "Troubleshooting" in Spanish

I´m amazed to reflect and remember that 8 days ago at this time, I thought my trip to Barcelona was going to be magical and flawless to a point that one day that girl from Little Miss Sunshine would be playing me in the Lifetime movie version.   Ah how naïve, how romantic I was to dream of such a fairy tale.
Let me tell you…I´d say about 9 times this week someone or something smacked me right in the face and yelled “HEY STUPID YOU´RE WRONG!”…to sum up, one of my two bags has been reported completely lost by US Airways, as in “sucker you´re never getting that thing back”…I blistered the bottom of my feet from walking over 8 kilometers in the blinding midday Barcelona heat on Saturday from my adorable yet not so forgiving Tory Burch patent leather flip flops (note to self, sweat and patent leather do not mix)…blew €60 on round trip taxis to the airport to personally hunt down my luggage, only to realize upon arrival that the claim sheet necessary for access to the baggage claim area was sitting on my desk at work…oh yes, and the cherry on top would be my attempt to get some sun outside of my apartment, enjoying my book on a lazy Sunday afternoon, only to be attacked by a flock of deranged pigeons over what looked to be an abandoned falafel under the bench I was sitting on…hey not all bad though!  I made friends with a gypsy woman who brought with her a team of biting flies and was wearing a pair of crocs that looked like she at half of them
But honestly, ya know what makes me feel the worst about all of this?  It´s the fact that I´m over here, in Barcelona, with an amazing opportunity for my future handed to me on a silver platter, and I´m complaining about it.  So on top of this horrible bout of frustration, homesickness, and several severe bug bites, I feel incredibly guilty.  I want to turn this thing around, more than anything, I just don´t know how to get rid of this feeling.  It´s like there is a constant weight on my shoulders of not belonging, feeling completely unnatural in this environment and not fitting in.
On the subway to work every day, I can feel every pair of eyes in the car are on me.  And not in a “Hey her hair looks great” kind of way.  They are unwelcoming stares, scopes from head to toe, analyzing my posture and immediately picking up my uneasiness.  Is it really that obvious that I am an American, that I´ve only arrived 8 days ago?  Perhaps I´d feel a little less pressure and stress if I didn´t feel like everywhere I go I had to impress someone or “fit in”.  That me, in all my Bambi-like confused glory, would be enough to encourage a friendly smile.  I do realize that this is making me sound like a scrawny, helpless freshman in high school, but I speak the truth.
I´m going to make it a point this week to figure all these emotions out.  I think if I begin to figure out what´s going on internally with me, the external occurrences will become more obsolete and of less significance to the success of my time here.  I am the one responsible for making this the trip of a lifetime, and it´s a chance I´m not going to let go.

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